Death to the scale…and those stupid rubber thingies…
Well, for whatever reason, I decided to buy a digital scale. I guess I’m a tad bit more anal that I once thought, and need precise numbers…which I wasn’t getting from that old school scale I’ve been posting pictures of. (I swear, if you leaned forward while standing on it, you weighed more….weird.) So, I went to the store Sunday to pick one up. (Let me note that I was MAJORLY hung over Sunday, and not a happy camper to begin with…) So, I pick out a relatively decent scale that happened to be on sale…and brought it home. Anxious to see my new toy, I opened the box…only to find that some asshole had taken out the scale I thought was in the box, and replaced it with a $5.00 cheapie. Yeah, Kelly was not a happy camper. But, the hangover got the best of me, and I put off returning it until yesterday. (I thought I was going to get some grief for trying to return the wrong one…but let me tell you, Target rules, and I had no trouble what so ever.) So, I get my new, and correct scale home, and decide to step on it…just to give it a whirl. Ugh. Piece of shit. I’m 5lbs heavier on this new one than the old school one. (I’m sure my partying this weekend didn’t help matters…but there’s no way I gained 5lbs in 2 days. Simply not feasible.) So, we’ll see what it has in store for me on my official weigh in tomorrow morning. Grrr. I hade continuously changing my weight ticker. At least when I have to move it back up. Boo.
On to the rubber thingies I eluded to in the title. So, I’m at the rec this morning, and Morty, the 85 year old cutest man in the world is using the free weights, so I decided to grab one of those rubber “bands” (I’m not sure what the proper name for them is.) Here I am, doing some squats and various other exercises with the band, when I apparently take too far of a step forward, and the damn thing shoots out from under my feet and slaps me in the ass. And hard, I might add. Not only did it leave a nice purple and red welt on my ass, but it made this horrific noise like somebody shot off an industrial size slingshot. Even Morty with his supersonic hearing aids heard it, andlooked at me like I was nuts. What a way to make a lasting impression at 7am. God I’m such a geek sometimes.
I wish I had something more to talk about, but sadly, it’s only Tuesday night, and my life just lacks any real excitement. I am looking forward to the weekend, though. A bunch of friends are planning a bowling night (were geeks, it’s ok)…and I’m thinking this will be a non-booze weekend for me. Aside from the negative effects on the scale, I thinking it’s slowly but surely dwindling down what remaining brain cells my job hasn’t already murdered. Oh well, you only live once, eh?
Have a great night, ya’ll! (You can thank my one too many southern customers I deal with on a daily basis for that one!)
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Thank you for making me laugh out loud. I have been slapped in the ass by one of those bands before too. It’s a shocker. You never forget it. Believe me. But the mark will go away. On the scale, different scale different results. Give it a few days to figure out what the real difference is after the weekend indulgence is well past. XO Ellen
Our digital scale at home weights 8lbs heavier than the one at the gym and I had to re-adjust as well. Grrr, it’s a conspiracy!
I’ve never used those rubber band things and don’t plan to…. especially now I’ve read this blog. They sound dangerous. I’ll stick to weights.
Always good to read someone doing squats though! I did mine this morning.
I had to laugh, sorry. The picture of the slingshot thing is funny.
I just figured out last week that the scale I have at home is off too. It is an old school one too so I had to adjust everything too. It is a pain to do but at least we know the real deal now, right? (as frustrating as it is)
Good luck with your offical weigh in and have fun bowling!
haha love it! i’ll be having a booze free weekend as well! why dont we just put our heads together and figure out a calorie free liqour … we’d be rich! if they make diet soda how hard can it be rite!?
Kelly, didn’t you ever take Dance with Ms. Jacoby? She used to call those bands, dynabands. They’re deadly!