I hate my brother.
Ok, don’t take that the wrong way. I love my little brother dearly…but hate him in the sense of, “why couldn’t he have become an accountant…or a mechanic?” No…that would have made my life WAY too easy. My brother had to make the life altering decision to go to CULINARY SCHOOL. And not just that…his speciality is baking. Sugar and chocolate flow through this kid’s veins. And in turn, they flow through mine as well.
The Boy, as we so lovingly refer to him as, turns 20 on the 27th of this month. He’s still in culinary school, and loves to cook. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Really. I’m sure I’ve said it before…but I’m convinced he’s the mailman’s child. Not only does he love to cook, he’s damned good at it. He’s like any normal college-aged kid…except that he does his “homework” in my kitchen…and it generally ends up in my stomach. (Sometimes the dog’s too…perhaps that’s where that phrase was coined…)
He made a cake the other night…this huge, gooey chocolate concoction…homemade icing and all. Diet suicide is what I called it. I told him that he needed to hide that cake from me. I know my limits…and I know that I would dive face first and swim in that cake in the middle of the night, if given the opportunity. So he hid it.
And I found it.
Yesterday.
When I was on the war path and ready to say FUCK this whole quitting smoking thing.
So I ask you this: which is worse? Eating some cake, or having a cigarette?
I chose the cake.
The lesser of two evils, I suppose. And believe me, it was a tough decision. I found myself standing outside of my house, in the rain. I found one loose cigarette in my basement…and just so happened to find one match. I stood there…even went so far as to light the thing. I watched as the familiar orange glow of the cherry warmed my senses…I was so excited. My lips were pursed and inches…centimeters from taking a drag of the warm, enticing tobacco I once held so near and dear. Oh my god, I just can’t stand it any longer…I want is sooo bad.
“NO. I DON’T NEED YOU!. I WILL NOT LET YOU CONTROL ME ANYMORE!”
The fact that I’m sitting here writing this, and not currently in a padded room wearing a straight jacket surprises me. After I started yelling at that poor innocent little cigarette, I tossed it to the ground, stomped on it, and then picked it up, tore it into 5 pieces, and threw it into the yard.
And then I walked into the house and ate cake.
Which was worse…you tell me.
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good choice………you must be going through hell trying to tackle 2 addictions at once……the cigarette things is much more important…………unfortanetly you can go cold turkey with food……..don’t ever touch a cigarette once you quit……..2 time quitter…..after a year I thought I could have one cig……..it doesnt work…….went back to smoking but twice as much…….smoke 2 1/2 packs a day………..haven’t touch a but since 1988………hang tough and let the weight thing rest a little……..concentrate on building an exrcise program and eating healthier…..worry about the food after you got the butt problem licked……….
Ok this was a very funny read as well as a good choice! Keep working at both and tell your brother to be the first chef to open entirely low fat bakery (he’ll make a killing and you’ll be able to try all his low fat concoctions!)
wow. I would have to disown my brother. I do not know what it is like to have to quit smoking, I know it must be tough…You will make it through, I know it. Look how far you have come already!
I say if you had to pick then you made the right choice. You can work out a little more to work off cake. You can’t work off the bad things in your body from cigarettes. Plus, later on in life you can always battle weight loss. You can’t battle enphyazema quite as well. I say good for you!
I’m suprized they haven’t created a chocolate cigarettte yet…but they do make chocolate vodka.
The owner of the restaurant I manage is an executive chef, and is always coming up with a new fantastically sinfull dish after the next.
It broke my heart to take myself off the tasters list.
Hang in there.
Good job not smoking! Feel so bad for you, trying to do 2 life changing things at once. You are definatly strong, and you can do it.
Are you SURE we aren’t some type of long-lost siblings? My parents do the SAME DAMN THING!
If you have quit smoking, stay “quitted”. Look at it this way, weight you can lose a hell of a lot easier than trying to make the ol’ lungs work like they used to.
I am SO JEALOUS! YOU QUIT! AAAA!
Besides, for not smoking the cigerette, you DESERVE a peice of cake. Think of it as a reward rather than a punishment.
I am proud of you!!
You made the right choice. You should be proud that you were able to not smoke, so many people would have given in by now. It’s hard but hang in there.