Having one of “those” moments.
Comments(12) There’s a girl in my office. We’re about the same age. (Ok, she’s actually 4 years older, but who’s counting?) We’re both the young, single gals in the ofc. I’ve been here about a year longer. I know the job one year’s worth more. I know the people one year’s worth more. She has a good personality. I have a better personality. (If she had a better personality, I’d have no problem admitting to it. She tends to come off a bit snotty.) On the phone, we probably both come off equally as cute. (I’m sure I’m funnier.) We have this engineer in town for the week, doing some training. I finally got to meet him in person (yesterday) after talking on the phone for months. I always try to find the disappointment in these engineers faces when, after months of talking to me on the phone, they see me in person, and find out that I’m fat. Most do a REALLY good job of hiding it. And for a select few, it doesn’t seem to phase them. But, I notice.
So, I come back from lunch today, and see this engineer over by “her” desk. I don’t care. Or at least I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m not trying to make a love connection by any means. I guess I’m just tired of being the cool one, the funny one…but when it comes right down to it…the fat one. “Sure…she’d be perfect…if she’d only lose some weight.” That’s not a direct quote, but you all understand exactly where I’m coming from. I just want to be the one who’s desired in person…not just out of people’s line of vision. I want to be flirted with…I want to know what it’s like to “fight off the guys.” I just want one person…one guy whom I would find attractive back…just to look at me and desire me. Needless to say, it pissed me off when I saw this guy over there. The skinny girl wins again.
Sorry for the Debbie downer post…I think I’m pms’ing.
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