Starting Monday…a journey to the finish…

…luckily I found a piece of driftwood to hang on to…to keep me afloat.

Ok, so I’m not generally one for analogies, so I’ll cut right to the chase.  I gave up..big time.  By last Friday, I was so sick of opening little white packets and eating dehydrated mush, that I went off the deep end.  I literally took my bowl of stew down the the cafeteria with full intentions of eating it…then proceeded to purchase a grilled chix sandwich, chips, and a ginormous Kit Kat.  (The stew was quickly tossed into a nearby garbage can, never again to see the light of day.)  From then until last night, I went on a major food bender…eating like the Titanic was going down, and I wasn’t going to EVER see a morsel again.  I won’t get into the specifics, but it wasn’t pretty. 

Needless to say, the 7lbs I had lost my first two weeks…well, they came back for a visit, with a vengence, might I add.

So, I’m back to square one.  Yippee.  Today is day one.  Again.  Double yippee. 

I’m not quite sure why I went so crazy the past few days.  I know for one I grew EXTREMELY tired of eating the same things over and over again.  One more bowl of soup and I was going to scream.  I know there are all sorts of neat little tricks you can do with your meals, but I’m a simple creature…and to me, the less preparation, the better.  I’m pretty sure my laziness and lack of planning sure did contribute to my ultimate demise last week.  I guess that just a bit of planning goes a long way.

I guess the thing about the program that bothers me most is that I lack a feeling of “normalcy” on it.  Being overweight, you feel like an outcast from society to begin with…let along carrying a full days worth of food in a ziplock bag.  And what if I want to hang out with some friends on the weekends and have a few drinks?  That’s virtually impossible…which makes this program all the more difficult.  When I was with the other program…the one that I lost my 100lbs with…I was able to have a few drinks every now and again…and was still able to lose the weight.  (Albiet…not nearly as quickly…well, for most people anyway.)

I’m sorry if this post seems like one big rant…I just feel like I really need to air my frustrations…and what better place than right here with everybody that’s going through it too?  I have been OP 100% today…and plan to stay that way for a LOOONG time.  It’s now t-minus 4 months and some odd days until that wedding I’m the maid of honor for.  I need to be down 50lbs by then. 

With your help and encouragement (which I’ll be needed by the bucketloads) perhaps I can make that dream a reality. 

Thanks for reading, kids!