Starting Monday…a journey to the finish…

You’ll eat all 24.  By yourself.  I promise.  It might take you 5 days, but you’ll do it.  And you’ll gain 2lbs. 

 Lesson learned.

It’s a go, my friends, and I couldn’t be more excited.

I met with the councelor a week ago, and felt instantly at home back in a school building. We talked for only a matter of minutes, but that was all that I needed.

A Master of Arts in Teaching Language Arts. I can’t wait.

But first, I must be accepted.

I must pass the Illinois Test of Basic Skills. (Uh oh.)

I must pass the GMAT. (Double uh oh. I don’t even know what that is.)

When I first arrived at NEIU last week, I was under the impression that if I was accepted, I’d be starting in the Spring.

Wrong-O. Fall. Yikes. That’s 3 months from now. Holy shit. I know.

Ok, I lied. You can start taking classes in the fall without these tests under your belt, but you can’t “declare” until you’ve passed. You’re considered a “student at large” until then.

Whatever.

I’m currently in the process of finishing up my application. It’s not long..it’s not hard. (Tee hee hee.) But the last question on it asks why you want to join the program, and what you’d like to achieve. I started answering it immediately, then thought about it for a moment. It’s a test…to see if you can write. i write purty, no? =) So I wrote it last night. And then my screen froze. I didn’t save it.

Oh shit.

So, the genius that I am, I ended up taking a picture of each and every paragraph, and re-writing the whole thing, after I refreshed the page. God bless digital cameras.

Here it is…let me know what you think.

“When I was in the 5th grade, I wrote a story about my Mother’s heart transplant, and won the Young Author’s Award for writing. My Mother said to me, “Kelly, I don’t know where you get your writing talent from. It sure didn’t come from me.”
 

As time passed, I continued to write. It was something I did mostly for school, but I still found extraordinary enjoyment in it. When I graduated from high school, I contined with my education at Northern Illinois University.
 

During my time at NIU, I was an on-air talent at the student run radio station. While on the air, I discovered my gift of speech, and would entertain the masses, (or at least those who listened) with my gift of words. After my first semester on the air, my mother said to me, “Kelly, I don’t know where you find the nerve to talk to people on the radio. You surely didn’t get that from me.”

During my last year at NIU, I tutored freshman in their Coms 100 class, a basic speech requirement for all majors. I would observe speech after speech, and give these budding talents a critique of their speeches, and offer suggestions on how to improve. The students looked up to me, and took my advice to heart. They were eager to learn, and from that, I took immense pleasure. After my last session with the students, my Mother said to me, “Kelly, I just don’t know how you can teach a bunch of kids you don’t know.” But I did. To me, it was natural.

During my last semester at NIU, it was time to write my senior thesis. After much debate, I wrote about Orson Welles’ impact on the history of radio. I spent weeks upon weeks slaving over that paper. It couldn’t just be good, it had to be spectacular. I wanted my readers to feel the “War of the Worlds” as they absorbed my written word. And spectacular, it was. After I turned in my paper and received that hard earned A, my Mother said to me once again, “Kelly, I’ll never understand where you get your writing ability. I’ll just never understand.”

After college, I had the incessant desire to continue writing, so I submitted an entry to a non-fiction essay contest sponsored by “Glamour” magazine. I felt compelled to tell the story of how I, Kelly Courtney, the “Big Girl” of the seniour class was able to blow all the stereotypes out of the water and was crowned Homecoming Queen of the senior class. Upon submission, my mother said to me, “Kelly, I don’t know where you find the strength and creativity to write the way you do. You make me so proud.”
 

My mother passed away on a cold February morning in 2005. I spent the first two days walking around in a dreary haze, hardly aware of my surroundings. On the third day, I realized what I had to do. It was my ultimate calling and there was simply nobody else who could complete this task. I had to give the eulogy at my Mother’s funeral. And that I did. I stood up there in front of that church filled with mourners, and spoke of the good days. I told stories of her past, and even managed to muster a few laughs from those who were grieving most. It was the hardest, most gut wrenching experience of my life, but I knew what I had to do.

As I stepped down from the altar, I could hear my Mother from somewhere in the distance saying to me,

“Kelly, I knew you could do it. I still don’t know where you find it in you, but don’t ever forget how proud you’ve made me.”

I feel that I’ve been blessed with the gift of creativity and writing. I know that if given the opportunity, I would grow tremendously within the Masters of Arts program offered at NEIU. In doing so, I would be able to spread my knowledge, and teach future generations the beauty of the English language, and everything that encompasses it. I have a burning desire to teach, and I know somewhere out there, students are yearning to learn. I want to be the person to open up their hearts and minds, and show them that they can find their own talents well within themselves.I want to do this for myself, for the memory of my Mother, and for future generations. I’ve had a burning desire to teach, and feel that the time has come.

I’m ready.”

So there you have it. Not bad, eh? I’m serious though…if you can think of any constructive changes, let me know. I’m planning on submitting it by Friday. Just waiting on my letters of recommendation.

And a way to pay for all of this craziness.

Anybody looking for a maid? =)
 

I found a program!!!  It’s at North Eastern Illinois University, and it would be a Master of Arts in Teaching: Language Arts Program.  I ended up parusing the website, and contacted an advisor there.  She seems really cool, and was totally helpful.  I’ll be taking the afternoon off from work tomorrow, and will be meeting up with her to discuss how the program works…what my eligibility is with my undergrad, and all of that good stuff.

Yay!  Who even knows if I’d get accepted into grad school…but hey, this is definitely a start.  I’ll keep you all posted on how the meeting goes tomorrow.

But for now, I begin the (dreaded) application process.  Ick.

Have a good night kids!

Ok, so I’m sitting here watching “Queen Sized” on Lifetime…a story about a fat girl running for homecoming queen. It’s a great story, where I’m sure the underdog ends up winning and becoming the ultimate victor. All fine and dandy, as I have a story like that of my own. Here’s my beef with the story: everytime this girl gets stressed out, she immediately runs to food. There’s a scene where she seeks solace in her hidden stash of cupcakes in her bedroom desk drawer. Or another where she finds herself overhwhelmed by the homecoming court competition, so she ultimately runs home, flings open the freezer door, and collapses on the kitchen floor, with the tub of mint chocolate chip in tow.

Is it just me, or is this just a bit excessive? I know networks have to exaggerate these stories for dramatic effect, and of course, ratings. But, isn’t it all just a tad un-realistic? Maybe I’m on my own here, but when I get stressed out I yell, I cry….if it’s warranted, I throw things. But I don’t run to food. I never had. I got fat by simply eating too much too often…and eating all the wrong kinds of foods to boot.

Obesity isn’t a cookie cutter epidemic. We don’t all fit into this same mold that was portrayed in this movie. Sure, I guess there are people out there that do make ice cream their “go to” when times get tough…but that doesn’t hold true for everybody. Some of us just like food a little too much. Plain and simple. Of course, this is the media…and they love to personify stereotypes the best they can.

I’m disappointed in you Lifetime.

**I was homecoming queen my senior year of high school, and it was awesome. I’m sure there were some who taunted me, and hoped that I didn’t win. But I did. I had a great group of friends, and support from a great deal of the class as a whole. (Ok, so my nickname in high school was Big Red..but I’ll let the secret out now. I came up with that name years before high school.) It was a great experience, and to feel the teeth of that tiara being placed ever so gracefully upon my head…AND NOT THE HEAD CHEERLEADER…it was great!**

(I have a picture, but this damned site isn’t letting me post it now.  Boo.)

Well, I’ve finally come to the realization that I HATE MY JOB!  Ok, so it’s not necessarily the job, persay…but it’s the field that I’m in.  It’s not me.  Let me backtrack a bit.I graduated from Northern Illinois University in 2003 (Damn….5 years ago already) with my Bachelors in Communications, emphasis in media studies, (ie, radio and television.)  My dream job was to become an on-air radio personality…something along the lines of a “soccer mom morning drive” show.  Well, when you pick your major at 17, you don’t truly know what you want to do with the rest of your life.  Sure, it sounded cool at the time…and it still does.  If I was somehow presented with that opportunity, I’d take it in a heartbeat.  Alas, that field is HARD to get into, and I don’t exactly have the connections to get my foot in the door. 

Right out of college, I found a job working for a company that contracts mailrooms/photocopy centers out of other companies.  I did that for about a year and a half, when I was offered a position to work in customer service for one of the companies I was contracted to be the mailgirl at.  I already knew everybody in the building, and was happy at the idea of being able to use my brain, and not just sort and deliver mail.  So, I started in customer service September 06.

OMG.  I am too the point where I’m going completely stir crazy sitting in a fucking cube EVERY DAY!  Granted I love my customers, and my field support (ie…NOT the people I work with physically in the office.  Talk about a bunch of back-stabbing two-faced assholes!) but sitting here in cubicle hell day in and day out is so completely un-filling. 

I need a change and I need it now.  I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.  Nothing excites me more in life than the office supply store.  Cool pens.  Stickers.  Bulletin board border.  The thought of making an impression on somebody’s life…giving them the gift of knowledge…it’s exciting.  I’m confident that I could put my skills and talents to use so much more successfully in the classroom…much more so than the office!

This place is sucking the life out of me, and I’ve just realized that it’s the root my my underlying unhappiness in life.  I NEED OUT!!

So my buddies, I’m asking for your help.  I desperately want to go back to school to become a teacher, but I don’t have the damndest idea how to begin.  If anybody out there knows ANYTHING, please please please share the wealth. 

I thank everybody in advance!  =)

I had a veggie burger for lunch.  On a whole wheat english muffin.  With 2 slices of cucumber.  A 1/4 C lettuce.  A splash of mustard.  A tsp of relish. 

Delicious!

 I can’t begin to explain how thankful I am for my 3 week Medifast experience.  It made me realize how truly incredible regular, healthy food is. 

If you’re struggling through this process, and find yourself falling off the wagon a great deal, buy yourself a shipment of Medifast.  I guarantee it’ll have you eating healthy without a problem in no time.  (After you quit those disgusting packets, that is.)

Yay for healthy food!

Medifast, that is.  I can’t do it.  I gave it three weeks…but it just isn’t for me.  And for those who’ve had success on the program, I give them major props!  Seriously…it’s a damned hard program to follow.  (If I ever see one more bag of dehydrated soup again in my life, I’ll scream!)

On a good note, I took the basics of the program, and applied them to real food.  I read an article in Women’s Fitness the other day that said something to the effect of, “Most diets don’t work because they aren’t something you can follow for the rest of your life.”  Duh.  Exhibit A: my cabinet full of little white packets.  Some of the items weren’t bad…but I just wasn’t feeling satiated on 3 shakes a day, some disgusting soup, and one meal.  Nope, not for me.  I’m a foodie at heart.  After going through that torture for 3 weeks, I’ve realized how good you truly do feel after eating HEALTHY food and acceptable quantities.  Once again, Duh.

So, I have to follow through on it this time.  ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO!  I kinda hinted at the bf that I wasn’t going to follow Medifast anymore because I literally couldn’t stomach it.  He started lecturing me, and telling me that he wanted me to stick with it, because he noticed that I was “looking smaller,” as he so graciously put it.  So, I MUST stick to this self-regimented program of mine.  He’s lost faith in my weight loss and willpower abilites (can’t say I blame him one bit) and I have to prove him wrong.

I also need to prove to myself that I’m strong enough to slay this monster once and for all.

Day one of “Kelly’s program: a success!”

Stay tuned for further news coverage!  =)