Starting Monday…a journey to the finish…

I really appreciate everybody’s kind words of encouragement on Saturday.  It truly means a lot to have such a wonderful support system…especially from a group of people I’ve never met.  (Even you, you crazy Brits!)  After much soul searching, I’ve come to the realization that this process isn’t going to happen by doing some fad diet.  Low-carb, high protein, cabbage soup…all of that.  It’s not for me.  For those of you that can follow that and see success, I give you ALL the props in the world.  For me, it just doesn’t work.  I can’t find myself feeling guilty when I wake up on Saturday morning and want a bowl of cereal.  For the love of God…cereal isn’t the enemy! 

I’m going back to square one.  Back to what I know worked for me in the beginning.  Deep in my heart of hearts, I know the message LA Weight Loss tried to teach was portion control via proper food groups. They had an awful front, constantly trying the high pressure tactics to get you to buy more crap.  I loathed them for that…but they did teach me how to eat properly.  I still kick myself for ever quitting in the first place.  But I still remember how to do it.  Just like riding a bike.

I can’t live life with a plan that doesn’t allow me to kick back and have a few beers with friends every now and then.  Or a slice of pizza.

Or my Saturday morning cereal.

I’m feeling good today.  I went shopping yesterday (and $100 later) came out with real, healthy food.  Fruits, veggies, whole grains…even some protein.  I started back up with my Power 90 DVD’s this morning…and broke quite a sweat.  It felt great.

I’m back!  Thanks again to all of you for EVERYTHING!  =)

I don’t know what to do anymore.  Honestly, don’t have a frickin clue what to do.  I used to be a pro at this weight loss game.  I have people on here message me, telling me what an inspiration I am.

It’s not true.  I’m nothing but a failure anymore.  I just can’t seem to get it right.

I step on the scale week after week, and see that # go up.  Despite all of my efforts at eating right, and exercising..I keep gaining.

What am I doing wrong?  I’m at a total loss.

I joined a team in hopes of finding the inspiration to get this done once and for all…and I’m doing nothing but bringing them down.

AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!

I’ve even gotten to the point where I’ve found myself so frustrated, that I’ve spent time online looking it up.

You know what I mean.

Surgery.

I don’t want to go that far.  I did this once.  I did this making healthy lifestyle changes via healthy eating and exercise.   And I was successful.  For Christ’s sake, I lost 100lbs!  Eating real food.  And NOT killing myself at the gym.  It was moderate at best.

And now…

I’m totally lost.

I have less than three months until this wedding.  I don’t even know if I’ll fit into the dress.  I’m scared as all hell.

I need a miracle…

That’s right kids…I got my official acceptance letter on Friday. Needless to say, MUCH celebration ensued, and I spent practically all of Saturday hung over…bet hey…you gotta celebrate sometimes, don’t ya?

So…I start school in a month. Oh my god. Grad school.

Here goes nothing!