Starting Monday…a journey to the finish…

1,500 cals a day is rough; especially when you spread them out over the course of 17 hours.  Craziness I tell you!  So all of you calorie counters out there, tell me what you do when you realize you’ve only got a few hundred cals left, and quite a bit of time left in your day?  You know you’d like a pre-dinner snack.

And dinner.

And a post dinner snack.

What do you do? 

Well, this past week went out the window at a mighty speed.  And then took a major turn down the crapper.  I woke with chest congestion Tuesday morning (but still managed to make it to my PiYo class…somehow)…and by the evening, I was full on sick.  I spent the rest of the week sick…and in doing so, found the answer to the world’s obesity problem.  When your nose is stuffed, you can’t smell.  When you can’t smell, you can’t taste.  When you can’t taste, you have no appetite.  When you have no appetite, you don’t eat.  It’s as simple as that!  =)

Ok, maybe not.  Sounds good though, doesn’t it?

Needless to say, I didn’t work out past Tuesday.  I’m a crabby sick person, and don’t do well when I’m not bundled up on the couch wallowing in my own misery.  In that, I didn’t step on a scale this week.  Oh well.  There’s always next week.

Here’s to a better week this week.

Yeah, about that zit.  It’s true.  I feel as if I’m about 14 years old.  Pubescent.  Greasy.  Awkward. 

 Ok, I guess other than the 14 years old part, the rest of that statement holds fairly true!  This thing on my face…it’s like a 3rd eyeball.  It has its own heartbeat.  If there are any “Family Guy” fans out there, it’s like Doug.  “Why don’t you go grab that grease and slather me up some friends!”  But I digress.

 So the non-smoking thing.  Well.  About that.  =)  I went to my doc Saturday morning and asked about the Chantix.  We discussed how much I smoke (generally 1/3rd to 1/2pack-day) and also discussed if I’d ever quit before.  He told me that it seems I have no problem quitting, I just have a problem not staying “quit.”  Yeah, I know that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I understand what he was getting at.  Basically I have the willpower to do it myself, I’m just too damned lazy.

He hit the nail on the head.  Damnit!

So I made it through all of Saturday without a cigarette.  Sunday, different story.  The bf and I broke up (for like the 10th time since we’ve been together…damn…almost 7 1/2 years now…shit or get off the…well, you know!)  and then “made up” (we’re like children, I swear to god) three hours later.  Needless to say, I started fresh again today.  I must say…it’s Hells harder to fight the urge when I’m at work.  MY JOB is the reason it’s almost impossible to quit smoking.  MY JOB is the reason (or major contributing factor, anyhow) that I can’t lose weight.  MY JOB seems to be the root of all that is evil in the world, eh?  Alas…what’s a girl to do?

In weight loss news, I weighed in at 291 on Saturday…one lb over my 290 goal.  No biggee…I’ll just have to work a bit harder this week to meet my 288 goal.  I’ve taken to walking after work with a friend and her twin 10 month olds….so in addition to my morning workout and short lunch stroll, I would hope this should kick things up a notch…eh?

Well, as luck would have it, my escape from reality is over, and I must get back to work.  Hope everybody is having a fan*freakin*tastic (edited for content; you know what I wanted to insert) Monday afternoon and evening!

Well, here’s hoping anyway.  I’ve been a smoker for the past 11 years, and I’m a whopping 27.  It’s going to be a long road; one I definitely do not look forward to.  However, there comes a time in your life when you know you’re finally ready to commit to something, and that time has come.  I have a dr’s appt tomorrow morning, and I’m hoping he’ll prescribe Chantix, or something of the like.  I’ve heard great things about that scrip; keep your fingers crossed for me.  Also, keep your fingers crossed that I don’t murder somebody over the course of the next few weeks…as I’m sure they will not be the most pleasant.  Alas, like everything else in life…one day at a time.

I work in an office, and sit on my fat duff all day long.  My job is mentally exhausting, but physically, not at all.  By the time I leave this hell hole, I mean, fabulous place of employment, I can’t stop yawning.  The only thing I want to do when I walk in the door is take a post workday nap…but that screws with my regular sleep schedule.  I’m a morning gym goer, so I’m getting my exercise in…but I’m still so frickin’ beat by the time I get home.  I’ve even tried drinking a diet Coke before I leave…but to no avail.  So, does anybody have an great ideas that might boost my energy for the afternoon slump?  I’ve even tried going for walks at lunch in addition to my morning routine…but I still feel like Rip van Winkle.  Help!!

Check em’ out!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcourtney1020/sets/72157619073430705/

For the record, I did farely well yesterday evening. Had some left over BBQ (turkey sausage, few bites of potato salad…I’m talking like 2 small bites) and some pretzels. Jonah and I split a cookie…and then went to DQ (for those of you who may not be privy, DQ is Dairy Queen, our local soft serve ice cream place, and my first job, by the way). Jonah got a peanut butter cup blizzard, and I got a box of fudge bars (50 cals each/sugar free/fat free/delicious!) I ended up taking a few more bites of his blizzard than I should have, but that’s just what happens with ice cream. I won’t condemn myself for it. The two of us ended up being lame and falling asleep around 9pm while watching the Sox game. (Jim Thome hit is 550th HR to bring the Sox to a 5-3 lead of Oakland…great game!)

As I got such phenominal sleep last night, I ended up sleeping through my yoga/pilates class. I feel like a royal A-Hole, as this is the 2nd one in a row I’ve missed…and there are only 6 classes total! I swear to myself I’ll be at the last 3, and will work my ass off at them. On a good note, I came to work early and hit the treadmills here…completed just over 2 miles in 35 mins. I believe it said I burned like 376 calories…again, I doubt it. Whatever, it felt good, and I was Hells sweaty when I was done. Whoo hoo!

So I stepped on the scale this morning. 291.4. Down 5 lbs since I returned from NYC. Not bad. We’re headed in the right direction kids. One pound at a time.

Clearly old habits die hard in my world. Hey, it’s not like I woke up with the sole intention of watching crap t.v. “Hey, let’s get up at 3:30 am and stay up cause there’s nothing more exciting that spending hours you could be sleeping watching male enhancement infomercials. Viva Viagra!” Damned mother nature and her incessant need to pee; ruins all sorts of plans, let me tell ya.

So here we are, June 1st 2009. This year is flying by, and I’ve done nothing. Let me rephrase that. I’ve done a great deal in life, but I’ve done very little towards getting healthy and continuing on my endless weight loss battle. The thing that frightens me the most is that I still have that bet with my OBGYN that I’ll have lost 60lbs by my annual visit in December. Well, I’ve successfully managed to GAIN 16lbs this year. Jesus. How is that even possible? I know I’ve been crazy busy with school and work and all that jazz…but 16lbs, AND I go to the gym at least 4x/week? Insane. I blame it on getting old and my metabolism basically going down the tubes. When I lost weight the first time, I was 22 years old and constantly on my feet. Fast forward 5 years; I’m 27 and rarely move from my desk. Despite the fact that I do make it to the gym, it’s simply not enough. And I’m eating crap. I can feel it in my body and mind when I eat “dirty,” and that has to stop.

My mid-year revamp starts today. I’m eating clean. Sticking to 1,500 cals/day every day. I’m not going to be perfect, God knows that. But I’m going to make an effort. I’m going to get at least 30 minutes of activity every day, even if that means just mowing the lawn or going for a post dinner walk. I need to make this happen; I’m not getting any younger, and I’m killing myself at an accelerated rate by carrying all of this extra weight around. I’m dangerously close to reaching a set of #’s I vowed NEVER to return to, and I can’t allow myself to cross into that abyss again. I just can’t. Today is a new day people.

So let’s talk #’s. By now, you’re all aware that I weight a lot and I’m not afraid to discuss those #’s. When I returned from NYC last week (there will be a post about the remainder of my trip, which I’ll get to this evening, promise) I stepped on the scale and had gained 6lbs. Not a huge shock. We basically ate our way through that city, despite the tremendous amount of walking we did. I also received a visit from mother nature last week, so we’ll take that into account too. I stepped on the scale Saturday morning, and had gone down 4lbs since my return from vaca. 292.4. Ouch, I know. Let’s count by 2’s. Ready?

Saturday June 6 = 290
Saturday June 13 = 288
Saturday June 20 = 286
Saturday June 27 = 284
Saturday July 4 = 282
Saturday July 11 = 280
Saturday July 18 = 278
Saturday July 25 = 276
Saturday August 1= 274
Saturday August 8= 272
Saturday August 15= 270
Saturday August 22= 268
Saturday August 29= 266
Saturday September 5=264
Saturday September 12=262
Saturday September 19=260
Saturday September 26=258
Saturday October 3=256
Saturday October 10=254
Saturday October 17=252
Saturday October 24=250
Saturday October 31=248
Saturday November 7=246
Saturday November 14=244
Saturday November 21=242
Saturday November 28=240
Saturday December 5=238
Saturday December 12=236
Saturday December 19=234
Saturday December 26=232

So there you have it. At the rate of 2lbs/week, realistically, I can see a loss of 60lbs by the end of the year. I know that’ll thrill the pants off of my OBGYN…plus I’ll inherit an entirely new wardrobe. Can’t argue with that!

Well, that’s it people. That’s the plan. I’m all for accountability, so if anybody would like to keep me in check, by all means, don’t hesitate. It’s now 6:02am and I’m gonna get going to the gym.

Here’s to a new day, and a new me.

Well, a lot has happened since my last post…which was what…just over a week ago?  Life just doesn’t stop, does it?

Sadly, I had to make the toughest choice in life last Friday…and had my dog put down.  She was about 12 years old, and suffering from diabetes and cancer (we were pretty sure.)  It got to the point where she wasn’t eating for roughly 4 straight days…and constantly throwing up.  Just by looking at her, you could tell she was suffering.  As much as I didn’t want to do it (and spent DAYS crying over the thought) I made the appointment and went through with it.  I selfishly wished she would just go on her own, but she was hanging on…for us I’m confident.  She went very peacefully, and she’s in a much better place now…without pain.  I like to think she’s hanging out with my Mom now…something I’m sure she’s thrilled about.  I miss my “kid” more than words could ever explain (the house is eerily quiet…and my cat thinks she OWNS the place now!)…but there’s a sense of calm now.  RIP Scruffy…we miss you baby girl!

So I had a birthday this week…the big 2-7 on Monday.  And what did I do to celebrate it?  (And partially drown my sorrows?)  Eat.  I spent 3 solid days eating cake…like the frickin’ ship was going down.  By Tuesday evening I pretty much burned myself out on it…and I vow from now until Thanksgiving (right around the corner people…can you believe it?)…NO MORE SWEETS!  I could actually feel my loose jeans a bit tighter yesterday…so I got my ass back in gear and started moving again.  (I’ve been on a two week hiatus…which is unlike me…but I suppose I let life get the best of me.)  I went for a 30 minute walk at lunch yesterday, and then woke up early this morning to do a Power 90 toning DVD.  It’s amazing…you stop your training for a few weeks, and something that used to be so simple can completely kick your ass!  But it felt good.  I needed that.  Tomorrow I’m meeting with a co-worker to play racquetball before work…which is a lot of fun…and burns mega-cals too!  (Yeah…there’s a racquetball court in the building where I work.  How bizarre is that?)

I fell into the infomercial trap over the weekend, and found myself ordering The Firm: Wave.  Has anybody ever used this?  Any thoughts?  It looks like a fun, thorough workout…and easy enough on my crapped out knees that I won’t quit halfway through.  I owned the original Firm years ago…but it was too much for my bad joints.  I just received an e-mail that it shipped…so I’ll be sure to let you all know my honest opionion.  God knows I’m all about honesty.

Alright kids…homework is calling my name.  I’m 75% back on the wagon, and hoping to make it a full 100% soon.

Life doesn’t stop when things happen…I guess you’ve just got to work around the obstacles, eh?

I should be a frickin’ poet!

Well, the wedding finally came and went.  I can’t believe it’s over.  I’m a bit sad, but relieved, all the same.  It was a lot of work…but it turned out to be fabulous.  The weather was sunny and warm…the bride looked incredible.  It was fantastic.

Did I lose that 20lbs like I’d hoped?

Nope.  In fact, the dress was a bit snug…but it fit, and the day was excellent.  What more can you ask for?

Now here I am back to square one.  Gained a few lbs.  School is kicking my ass.  I have to take the GRE in a month, not to mention the Illinois Test of basic skills.

Do you remember how to add fractions with non-common denominators?

Neither do I.

Lot’s to contend with these days.  Homework.  A dog with rapidbly declining health.

Little time to make it to the gym because of my CRAZY schedule.

And eating like the ship is going down.

I need help re-focusing kids.

Enough screwing around.

This is my SOS!